Star Crossed Town
by InuGhost2.0
Summary: SG-1 is sent to deliver weapons to Eureka. However trouble and hilarity ensues once they arrive.
1. Chapter 1

**Star Crossed Town**

**By: InuGhost2.0**

**Disclaimer:** Sadly I do not own anything that appears in this, and I have been informed that any attempts to change that will result in Thor beaming me onto the nearest hostile planet.

**A/N: **In a sudden flash of light and smoke InuGhost2.0 appears center stage bowing low. "Good Evening and welcome to 'Star Crossed Town'. This idea has been bouncing around in my head for awhile, and now seemed as good a time as any to begin it. Though be warned the time line is completely screwed up, and previous attempts to understand it have lead to: insanity, paranoia, and voting for Senator Kinsey. So without further ado let's get on with the story.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"Are we there yet?" The question delivered in a whiny high pitched pierced like a knife through Samantha Carter's skull. Reflexively her grip tightened on the steering wheel as she bit back a sharp retort.

For the last hour and a half Col. O'Neill and Vala had been ganging up on Major Carter by acting like children. Already Sam had been forced to break up three 'he's touching me! No I'm not!' and a half hour chorus of 'Are we there yet? I'm bored. I hafeta go to the bathroom. I'm hungry.' Her patience was at an end, and if it were not for Daniel sitting in the front passenger seat attempting to keep her calm, she would have shot them both.

Daniel felt it was his duty to try and keep Sam calm since he felt responsible for Vala's behavior. She had been pressing him for sex in the transport which he'd flatly refused, and had almost handcuffed her after he'd discovered her flashing other motorists for fun.

"I have just about had enough you two. Cut it out or I'll turn this transport around!" Sam threatened glaring at the two 'children' via the rearview mirror.

In response the two grinned at each other and began singing "99 System Lords on the wall, 99 System Lords. Shoot 1 down and take them out, 98 System Lords on the wall."

By the time O'Neill and Vala reached 45 System Lords they were insight of the town. "Oh thank God." Sam groaned happily at the welcomed sight.

"Don't you mean thank the System Lord?" Daniel intoned smiling at Sam's outraged look.

Taking a hand off the steering wheel Sam made to backhand Daniel only to be stopped mid-swing by Vala.

"Sorry but I'm the only one allowed to smack Daniel, and only during sex. So unless you want to join in on a threesome…hands off. Now as for you Daniel." SMACK! "You should know better than to antagonize Samantha when she gets like this."

Rubbing the back of his head, where Vala had cuffed him, Daniel mumbled an apology before turning to look out the window.

"Good now that we're here let's get rid of this stuff and go. I saw a lake a few miles back that would be perfect for fishing."

"I'm sorry but that won't be possible Col. O'Neill. General Hammond gave us explicit orders to provide any knowledge or assistance to help the scientists in their endeavor."

"Thank you Teal'c I'd completely forgotten about that." While saying that Col. O'Neill pantomimed drawing his gun and putting it under his chin before pulling the trigger. As he flopped his head back Vala burst out laughing.

"Ok according to our orders we need to check in at the Sheriff's office. So everyone keep your eyes open."

"Eureka a town so small, quiet, and peaceful it doesn't even require a police department. This is going to be a boring assignment." O'Neil commented leaning back in his seat trying to relax.

As SG-1 drives through the perfectly normal town of Eureka the openings for the two shows can be heard playing.

"Does anyone else hear that music?"

"Indeed, I hear it also O'Neill."

"That's the same music that plagues us whenever we go through the Stargate."

"Just ignore it Vala. It'll end shortly."

"I think that's the Sheriff's office up ahead."

Pulling into an empty spot everyone gleefully got out of the transport to stretch their sore muscles. Looking around the town's main street O'Neill's eyes fixated on a restaurant directly across the street from where they had parked. "Carter you and Teal'c go ahead and unload the cargo. I'm going to go check on something." Without waiting for any acknowledgement the Colonel rushed across the street towards Café Diem closely followed by Vala.

Shaking her head and smiling at the Colonel's behavior Sam headed into the Sheriff's office.

Inside the office was the picture of professionalism…aside from the man locked in the jail cell and making his displeasure known.

"Come on Jo have a heart. It was an accident." The man had a firm grip on the jail's bars and was pleading with a woman seated behind a desk.

"Forget it Fargo, six people saw you start that fight with Larry. So you can stay in there for the time being. Maybe I'll let you out before I go home…if you behave. Can I help you?" Without missing a beat the woman, identified as Jo, turned her attention to Sam.

'Yup, she is definitely former military.' Sam thought. "Yes you can. We've got a shipment of advanced weaponry from Cheyenne Mountain that we were told to deliver here. We need some help unloading it, and someone to sign for it."

At the word 'advanced weaponry' Jo's eyes seemed to light up. In a flash she got up from behind her desk and walked over towards Sam grinning like a child opening presents on Christmas Day "Really! I'll help you unload them."

-_-_-_-_-_-

**A/N: **Well that's all for now. Tune in next time for more thrills, chills, and trouble. Please let me know what you think and feel free to give suggestions or ides. Oh and remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.


	2. Chapter 2

**Star Crossed Town Ch 2**

**By: InuGhost2.0**

**Disclaimer**: Dr. Daniel Jackson walks out. "Thankfully through the hard work of Thor and the DOD InuGhost2.0 still owns nothing.

**A/N:** Well looks like this is proving popular. I feel it necessary to explain some things after numerous questions I received. First this is set at the beginning of season 3 of Eureka, and mid season 5 of Stargate SG-1. This is slightly AU since Vala is in this, and Cameron Mitchell is not. Vala is in this since she works well for what I'm planning, and the added humor. Please understand that everything I'm doing in this is for the entertainment of the readers, Seshin, and me. My apologies if this upset some views. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter, oh before I forget the current poll I have up will end the week of Eureka's final new episode. So if you want to vote on who the most popular Eureka character is, better get those votes in now. Thank you, and enjoy the story.

SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE

"I cannot take another morning like this." Sheriff Jack Carter was exhausted. At 2 A.M. he had received an urgent call from Dr. Blake and had rushed to Global Dynamics. If he'd known it was for a minor dispute between Dr. Stark, several of GD's scientists, and some Air Force personnel then he never would have bothered in the first place. Dr. Nathan Stark had just received a highly classified shipment and had been attempting to prevent anyone but himself from examining the contents, or even knowing what had been shipped.

That incident had taken three hours to settle. Jack Carter had managed to catch a few hours sleep on Allison's couch before being awoken by the sounds of yelling and combat. Admittedly the sight of Fargo and Larry attempting to fight had improved his mood; he was still upset about his interrupted sleep and had Jo come by to arrest Fargo. The scientist had tried to weasel out of his arrest and failed miserably.

His head resting on his arms Jack heard footsteps approaching before being lightly tapped on the shoulder. Looking up he saw the tired face of Dr. Blake holding two Vinspressos. "It looks like you could use this."

"Thanks Allison." Taking the cup from her he took a sip as he leaned his head back. "So what was in the shipment that Stark was so interested in? Must be something important for all the commotion he was willing to cause."

"I'm not certain. All I know is it's from his cousin." Allison quietly commented as she took a long sip from her coffee. Dark circles were clearly evident under her eyes from all the late nights she had been putting in recently.

"Wait a minute. Stark has relatives? The way he acts I'd figured he simply created himself."

"He doesn't talk about him much. They're second cousins, but there has been this rivalry between them for years, and Nathan never really liked him. He says Tony needs to be more dedicated to his work and not waste so much time partying."

"Well that's Stark for you, now if you'll excuse me, I really need some food." Carter's stomach chose that moment to rumble loudly.

Chuckling Allison gave Carter a hand up and pushed him towards the door. "Go, everything will be fine here. Jo probably needs a break from Fargo by now anyway."

SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE

Setting down the last crate Jo gave a sigh of relief as she stood up. He back gave a slight twinge from the abuse it'd endured from lifting ten heavy crates. Going back over to her desk she accessed her computer.

"Thank goodness they finished connecting these computers to Global." Jo muttered quietly to herself before saying aloud "If you give me a moment I'll notify the scientists at GD about the weapon delivery."

"That's alright sheriff, we've been driving a day and a half, so we need the break. Plus two of our members have gone to get something to eat."

"Unfortunately I'm not the sheriff; he's off taking care of more important things." Jo groused.

SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE

"Sheriff thank good you're here, I need you to deal with this unruly customer. He's demanding a beer, but it's only 10 A.M. and I'm not legally allowed to serve it, and he won't take no for an answer. Says he's been traveling for a day and a half and needs it and a steak."

Carter had no sooner walked into Café Diem before being accosted by a flustered looking Vincent. As much as he didn't want to Carter felt indebted to the cafe owner for all the free coffee and food he and Jo had been enjoying over the past couple years. Nodding his head wearily Carter agreed.

Without saying a word Vincent gestured over to a booth at the back of the café where a man and woman could be seen sitting. The man was facing away from Carter and was blocking his view of the woman.

Walking over Carter caught the tail end of their conversation.

"It wasn't all bad being stuck in that loop. Spent a few of them tracking down Maybourne and giving him what he deserved."

"And is that all you did?" The seductive tone in the woman's voice left little doubt as to what info she wanted.

"Well…when you're stuck for three months repeating the same day over and over again you find ways to keep yourself entertained."

"Excuse me, but is there a problem here?" Jack queried as he finally made it over to the booth. His hand rested lightly by his holster in the event the man or his companion were drunk and tried to fight.

He was however unprepared for the sarcastic reply. "There's no problem at all, always wanted to find a café that wouldn't take your order." Turning the man looked at Carter for a moment before his eyes went wide with shock and recognition. "What the hell are you doing here!?!"

Instinctively Carter's hand inched towards his gun, and he fought off the urge to pass out. The beginning of a headache was coming on strong, and he knew his already long day had only just begun and was going to get worse. "I can ask you the same question Dad."

**A/N**: That's all for now readers. I Hope you enjoyed this chapter, feel free to review with comments, tips, and ideas. Remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.


	3. Chapter 3

Star Crossed Town Ch 3

By: InuGhost2.0

Updated 9/13/09

**Disclaimer**: Good news everyone I've found a dimension where I own the rights to Stargate SG-1 and Eureka. It's the same dimension where Col. O'Neill is the smartest member of SG-1 & Jack Carter is the smartest person in Eureka. Sadly in this dimension I still own nothing.

**A/N**: Thank you for tuning into Ch 3 of Star Crossed Town. Hopefully you'll find this chapter entertaining. Ok as requested by one reviewer from now on Samantha Carter is Sam, Jack Carter is either Jack or Carter, and Jack O'Neill is simply O'Neill. I should forewarn you I'm planning something for later on in the story and I'll be leaving clues in this story and Fountain of Youth.

Oh one final thing before I forget. While Seshin and I were at the State Fair we got to talking with a State Fair employee named David Flowers. He claimed he won the chance for a walk on roll in an episode of Stargate SG-1. He played the roll of a Tok'ra in an episode dealing with the poison the Tok'ra developed. Seshin and I have not been able to confirm or deny this, and have little idea how to prove it. So if anyone could help us out it would be greatly appreciated. Now that's taken care of let's get this chapter going.

SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE

"Daniel, Teal'c and I are going to go ahead and grab some lunch. Can you stay here and help Deputy Lupo guard the weapons?

"Sure I can do that Sam. Just make sure to bring me something back to eat."

Soon after Sam and Teal'c left Jo was pawing at the crates trying to see what was inside them. Sensing her frustration Daniel went over and pressed a button on the side of the crate causing it to open.

Inside the crate several long staffs lay side by side stacked in neat rows on top one another. The staffs gleamed dully in the office light.

"I've heard rumors about these but I never thought I'd actually get to see one." With eyes shining like a child's on Christmas Day Jo reached into the box and reverently extracted one of the Staff weapons. "I've got to try this thing out on the Firing Range. You don't mind right?" Without waiting for an answer Jo raced over to a door in the corner and down the steps to the downstairs range.

Reflexively Daniel opened and closed his mouth a few times before bemusedly shaking his head. "You'd think by now I would be used to this kind of treatment. Especially when it comes to dealing with Vala."

"You'll have to forgive Jo she only gets like this when it comes to new weapons. Especially if they're ones she hasn't ever gotten to use before. So…whose this Vala person?" Fargo asked sitting on the cell's cot and starring quizzically at Daniel.

"Huh? Oh Vala she my…uh…um…well I guess she's kind of my girlfriend." Daniel stuttered uncertain how to answer the question, and what his relationship with the former thief and con artist truly was.

At Daniel's answer Fargo leapt off the cot and stared in shock and hope at Daniel through the cell's bars. Clutching the bars in his hands it almost appeared as if Fargo was trying to push his way through the gap in the hope of getting a hold of the surprised Anthropologist. "Are you being serious? You actually have a girlfriend?"

Daniel couldn't decide if he was more puzzled or confused by the imprisoned scientist's reaction to his words. He felt a momentary sense of panic but quickly pushed it aside. "Uh yes I'm being serious. Why?"

"I don't believe it. Please you've got to help me. Women won't even give me the time of day. My fellow employees don't respect the work I do here. You saw how Jo treated me and she's known me for years, and not once has she even thanked me for anything. So please one geek scientist to another. Teach me how to be popular with the ladies, and get people to respect me."

Daniel blinked in surprise at Fargo's request. In all his years not once had anyone ever asked that of him. "Only one problem with that…Fargo right? I have absolutely no clue how I do it."

At Daniel's response Fargo's head went crashing into the bars from the shock. With a pained groan his eyes rolled back into his head as he collapsed backwards onto the cell floor.

SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE-SGE

"Still upset I see. Here I was hoping you'd have forgiven me by now." O'Neill grumbled taking a drink from his water glass.

"Oh I forgave you long ago. I'm merely having a lousy day, that and I haven't heard much from you or Mom for awhile now. Of course when we _do_ talk neither of you explain what you've been up to for the last few years. And don't go saying space telemetry because I know that's crap."

"Oh now this is interesting." Vala commented leaning forwards in her seat and grinning at the displeased Colonel. "Just last week you told Daniel and me that you had talked to your son just last month."

O'Neill glared at the troublesome woman. "Your not helping matters any."

At that moment the bell above Café Diem's door gently chimed as the door swung open beneath it admitting the major and Teal'c.

As Sam looked around the café she soon spotted the group. Heading over she was surprised to see a familiar face wearing the uniform of law enforcement. "Jack is that you? Oh it's so good to see you Sweetie." Sam pulled her son into a hug much to the amusement of the café's patrons and the embarrassment of her adult son. "What are you doing here? Last I heard you were a US Marshall. How is Zoey doing?"

If Jack could have gotten away with it he would be rolling his eyes. His Mom, one of the greatest scientific minds outside of Eureka, yet when it came to her family she was like every mother and would bombard her kid with questions before he even had a chance to respond.

"It's good to see you Mom you to Teal'c." He inclined his head in greeting to Teal'c which was soon reciprocated. "Well to make a long story short. About three years ago I was transporting Zoey back to L.A. after she ran away from home. Though I have no idea where she got that idea from." He directed a glare towards Vala who put on an innocent 'who? me?' face. "Zoey and I were having an argument during which a dog ran across the road and I crashed while swerving to avoid it. With the car stuck and in need of repairs we headed into town to locate a garage with a tow truck. During our short stay I helped solve a…incident which impressed some people high up and they offered me the job as sheriff. Zoey took a liking to the town so Abby and I came to an agreement that allowed her to stay here with me. Since then she's started to take after her grandmother quite a bit."

"Knew you were a bad influence." Sam stuck her tongue out at O'Neill for his comment before winking at him.

At that moment the sheriff's cell chose to beep loudly. Frowning he pulled it out and checked it before putting it away again. "I've got to go. The prisoners need to be fed." Heading over to Vincent he had a quick exchange with the proprietor of Café Diem before collecting a bag of food and a couple cups of coffee before heading for the exit.

"Teal'c remember to get some food for Daniel. I want to go catch up some more with Jack." Turning Sam also headed for the exit and once outside she called out "Jack wait up." Once she caught up to her son she took the bag of food out of his hands and peered inside. "Isn't this a lot of food for so few people?"

"Not really considering it's for me, Jo, Fargo, and this guy we've got locked up in the high security cells, beneath the sheriff's office, for stealing some kind of advanced GD technology."

_Short time lapse_

O'Neill groaned happily as he savored the steak he was eating. It was one of the best he'd had in a long time. The beer he'd finally gotten, courtesy of his son vouching for him, only seemed to enhance the flavor. As he was setting down the empty glass his radio squawked. "Colonel."

"What is it Sam?"

"You need to get over here."

"Sam, can't this wait until after I finish my steak?"

"I'm sorry Colonel but it can't wait. There's someone here you need to see."

Sighing heavily O'Neill grudgingly put down his fork and looked longingly at the half eaten steak. "This had better be good Sam, because you owe me at least two steak dinners at O'Malley's for this."

**A/N:** Well readers that's all for now. Tune in to see who the old acquaintance is. Feel free to guess in your reviews, oh and remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.


End file.
